When Forest Gump died, he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.St. Peter said, "Welcome, Forest. We've heard a lot about you." Hecontinued, "Unfortunately, it's getting pretty crowded up here and we findthat we now have to give people an entrance examination before we let themin." Related Image
"Okay," said Forest. "I hope it's not too hard. I've alreadybeen through a test. My momma used to say, 'Life is like a final exam. It'shard.' "
"Yes, Forest, I know. But this test is only three questions. Here theyare."
1) Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?"
2) How many seconds are in a year?
3) What is God's first name?
"Well, sir," said Forest, "The first one is easy. Which two daysof the week begin with the letter 'T'? Today and Tomorrow."
St. Peter looked surprised and said, "Well, that wasn't the answer I waslooking for, but you have a point. I give you credit for that answer."
"The next question," said Forest, "How many seconds are in ayear? Twelve."
"Twelve?" said St. Peter, surprised and confused.
"Yes, sir. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd …"
St. Peter interrupted him. "I see what you mean. I'll have to give youcredit for that one, too."
"And the last question," said Forest, "What is God's first name?It's Andy."
"Andy?" said St. Peter, in shock. "How did you come up with'Andy'?"
"I learned it in church. We used to sing about it." Forest broke intosong, "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am Hisown."
St. Peter opened the gate to heaven and said, "Run, Forest, Run!"
A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful petdachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterfliesand before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost.
So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction withthe obvious intention of having him for lunch. The dachshund thinks, "I'min deep trouble now!" Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by,and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approachingcat.
Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, "Boy,that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more aroundhere." Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a lookof terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees.
"Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearlyhad me."
Meanwhile, a monkey, who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree,figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection fromthe leopard. So, off he goes.
But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, andfigured that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes adeal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a foolof and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happento that conniving canine."
Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, andthinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dogsits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet.And, just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says:
"Where's that darn monkey? Sent him off half an hour ago to bring meanother leopard."
پاسخ : English Inn ( A place to drop by and take s.th in English).A
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