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Things you should never say to your female partner


Committed couples should be able to tell each other everything, right? No more walking on eggshells like nervous first daters, terrified that they'll accidentally mention the ex and wreck their chance of a second date.

For long-term partners, there's no such things as too much information. Actually, there is. Honesty is a vital ingredient in any relationship, but so is thoughtfulness.

Couples should never stop taking care over what they say to each other. Words can hurt, and careless talk can drive the closest couples apart.

We don't advocate lying to each other – and neither do we recommend blurting out every truth that pops into your head. Here are five truths that are best kept to yourself if you want your relationship to prosper.

1. You find her friend attractive

It doesn't matter that you've never made any romantic overtures to the luminous friend. That's not the point. What matters here is that it hurts your partner's feelings enormously if you compare her unfavourably with a woman she's close to.

Your little confession could drive a wedge between her and the friend in question, but only temporarily - the relationship that your confession is most likely to destroy is her relationship with you.

If you find yourself becoming attracted to one of your partner's friends, keep the crush to yourself if you want your relationship to survive. It's perfectly normal for people to have crushes.

Fantasise quietly if you must, but don't spill the beans. Utter the wrong name in the height of passion, and you may have some explaining to do.

2. She should wear more make-up

Encouraging your partner to wear more make-up is tantamount to telling her that she's ugly. Make-up is essentially a mask, and it can feel like hard work, so the last thing she wants to hear is that you'd rather she trowelled on even more of the stuff. It's good to show an interest in your partner's appearance. For example, help her choose outfits if she asks.

Women don't like it when men find the whole getting-ready thing tiresome - we are doing it to look good for you, after all.

However, don't take such an interest that you seem to be trying to turn her into someone she's not. It's a lucky man whose wife or girlfriend is comfortable with her appearance, so don't mess it up by sowing the seeds of insecurity. You are not Gok Wan.

3. You once considered leaving her

Successful relationships are built on a trusting assumption that you love each other. This trust creates a secure bubble in which your relationship can thrive. Admit that you once considered breaking up, and you burst the bubble. Your wife or girlfriend will always wonder whether you're truly happy.

4. Anything about your *** life with previous partners

You might think that you and your partner are happy and secure enough together to have the occasional laugh about what you did with someone you dated years ago.

Not the case. *** is a subject mined with doubts and insecurities, and your partner's insecurities will burst into life as soon as you mention anything you did with a previous girlfriend. What's more, it is deeply un***y.

*** is about intimacy and privacy - it's the ultimate communication between the two of you and no-one else. As soon as you break that contract by bringing someone else into the conversation, the intimacy is broken.

In fact, all ex-talk should be as limited as possible. This may be tricky if you’re forced into practical interactions with them over divorce or child support, but try not to let emotion enter into it. Praising or criticising your ex is bad news for your current relationship.

5. She interrupts too much

Men often complain that women talk too much, but here's the thing: women talk because they're interested and engaged. She's enjoying your company.

Some experts suggest that women interrrupt each other in conversation more than men do, but this isn't because they aren't listening - it's simply a way of being engaged in the conversation. If you criticise her for this, you're essentially telling her off for talking to you.

Welcome the fact that your partner is animated and chatty, and that you haven't turned into one of those couples who sit silently pushing food around their plates.