7raha7
31st August 2010, 06:25 AM
Why was the father millipede upset?
Because all this children needed new shoes!
What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?
Half a maggot!
Two fleas were setting off into town when it started raining. "Oh dear… shall we walk? " asked the first flea.
"No" said the second. "Let's take a dog!"
How do you tell a worm's head from his tail?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end smiles!
What's yellow and scaly with 100 slimy tentacles and evil-looking eyes?
I don’t know…
I don’t know either…but there is one on your head!!
Why did the girl snail break up with the boy slug?
She said he was moving too fast.
Maria: dad… would you punish me for something I hadn't done?
Dad: of course not, Maria!
Maria: good, because I haven't done the dishes.
Teenager: dad, do you believe in free speech?
Dad: of course, Kelvin.
Teenager: great – I'll use telephone then.
The mother had put her little boy to bed, and thought he had fallen asleep, when he came downstairs and asked "can I have a glass of water? The mother gave him a glass, and off he went to bed. However, a few minutes later he was back, asking for more water. The mother wondered how he could be so thirsty, but gave the water to him anyway. A minute later the kid was back, "can I have another glass of water? He asked. "What's wrong with you!" exclaimed his mother, "that’s the third glass of water tonight. How come you're so thirsty?"
"Oh!" said the little boy." The water's not for me. The roof's on fire…"
Our cat's gone missing.
Why don’t you place an advert in the paper?
Don’t be stupid. Tiddles can't read!
First sheep: Baa-Baa.
Second sheep: Moo-ooo-ooo.
First sheep: what do you mean "Moo-ooo-ooo"?
Second sheep: I'm learning a foreign language.
Why do animals have fur coats?
Because they'd look stupid in raincoats!
A penguin walked into a café and ordered a cheese and lettuce sandwich. The waitress served the sandwich, and the penguin sat down at a corner table, got out his paper, and quietly ate his lunch.
Another customer, who'd observed all this with amazement, exclaimed to the waitress, "Well, I've never seen anything like it!
"Yes." Said the waitress . "Most customers have tomato in their cheese sandwiches."
Because all this children needed new shoes!
What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?
Half a maggot!
Two fleas were setting off into town when it started raining. "Oh dear… shall we walk? " asked the first flea.
"No" said the second. "Let's take a dog!"
How do you tell a worm's head from his tail?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end smiles!
What's yellow and scaly with 100 slimy tentacles and evil-looking eyes?
I don’t know…
I don’t know either…but there is one on your head!!
Why did the girl snail break up with the boy slug?
She said he was moving too fast.
Maria: dad… would you punish me for something I hadn't done?
Dad: of course not, Maria!
Maria: good, because I haven't done the dishes.
Teenager: dad, do you believe in free speech?
Dad: of course, Kelvin.
Teenager: great – I'll use telephone then.
The mother had put her little boy to bed, and thought he had fallen asleep, when he came downstairs and asked "can I have a glass of water? The mother gave him a glass, and off he went to bed. However, a few minutes later he was back, asking for more water. The mother wondered how he could be so thirsty, but gave the water to him anyway. A minute later the kid was back, "can I have another glass of water? He asked. "What's wrong with you!" exclaimed his mother, "that’s the third glass of water tonight. How come you're so thirsty?"
"Oh!" said the little boy." The water's not for me. The roof's on fire…"
Our cat's gone missing.
Why don’t you place an advert in the paper?
Don’t be stupid. Tiddles can't read!
First sheep: Baa-Baa.
Second sheep: Moo-ooo-ooo.
First sheep: what do you mean "Moo-ooo-ooo"?
Second sheep: I'm learning a foreign language.
Why do animals have fur coats?
Because they'd look stupid in raincoats!
A penguin walked into a café and ordered a cheese and lettuce sandwich. The waitress served the sandwich, and the penguin sat down at a corner table, got out his paper, and quietly ate his lunch.
Another customer, who'd observed all this with amazement, exclaimed to the waitress, "Well, I've never seen anything like it!
"Yes." Said the waitress . "Most customers have tomato in their cheese sandwiches."