English Jokes

[matrix]

سلام به همه دوستان!

در این تاپیک جک هایی به زبان انگلیسی به همراه لغات مهم و ترجمه انگلیسی و فارسی لغات قرار داده میشه، امیدوارم که مورد توجه شما قرار بگیره.

اگه مشکلی در ترجمه داشتید من در خدمتم.

کشیش

Pastor, is it right for a man to profit from the mistakes of another? asked a parishioner

".Definitely not," answered his preacher

"Are you absolutely certain?" asked the man

"Yes, my son. Absolutely certain," said the pastor

"Okay. In that case, would you mind returning the money I gave you after my wedding last year

:Pastor

a Christian religious leader in charge of a church and its members, esp. in a Protestant church

کشیش، رهبر روحانی

:parishioner

someone who lives in a parish, especially someone who regularly goes to a Christian church there

عضو کلیسای محل، اهل محل

:wedding

a marriage ceremony, especially one with a religious service

عروسی، ازدواج

[matrix]

قاضی

The judge frownedat the robber.

- "So you admitbreaking into the same store on successive nights?"
- "Yes, your honor."
- "And why was that?"
- "Because my wife wanted a dress."

The judge checked his records.

- "But it says here you broke in two nights in a row!"
- "Yes, sir. She made meexchange it

Judge : قاضی


Example:
Everyone stood up as the judge entered the courtroom.

The official in control of a court who decides how criminals should be punished.

وقتی قاضی وارد اتاق دادگاه شد همه قیام کردند.

Frown : اخم


Example :
when she saw us, she frowned -
To bring the Eyebrows together in anger

وقتی ما را دید اخم کرد

Robber : دزد





Example:
Someone broke into my car and stole the radio.
Admit : قبول داری
Break into:دستبرد زدن
To enter a building or car by using force, in order to steal something.

یه نفر به ماشینم دستبرد زده و رادیوم را دزدیده

Her house was broken into last week. -

هفته پیش به منزلش دستبرد زده شده

Successive (adj) پی در پی

Example:
The team has had five successive victories. -
coming or following one after the other

تیم سه پیروزی پی در پی داشت

Three successive nights. - سه شب پی در پی

Your honor : عالیجناب

Your/His/Her Honour
Used when speaking to or about a judge
Example:
No, You're Honour. -

نه عالیجناب

Records :
Information, a written statement of facts, events, etc.:
Example:
Keep a record of how much you spend. -

اسناد، اطلاعات، در این متن، پرونده

In a row = Successive : پی در پی







Example:
We still exchange gifts at Christmas. -
She : همسرم Made me : مجبورم کرد Exchange : عوض کردن to give someone something and receive the same kind of thing from them at the same time.

عوضش کنم

[matrix]

A man's luggage didn't show up on the airport baggage carousel, so he found

the lost luggage desk and told the clerk his troubles. She assured him, "You are

in good hands, sir. I am a trained professional. " Then she asked, "Has your

plane arrived yet?"



show up:

پیدا شدن

carousel:

تسمه گردان در فرودگاه ها که چمدان ها روی آن می چرخند

desk:

بخش

clerk:

کارمند

assured:

اطمینان داد

in good hands:

جای خوبی آمدی، خوش شانسی

trained

دوره دیده

[matrix]

Last week I went to the theater. I had a very good seat. The play was very interesting. I did not enjoy it. A young man and a young woman were sitting behind me. They were talking loudly. I got very angry. I could not hear the actors. I turned round. I looked at the man and the woman angrily. They did not pay any attention. In the end, I could not bear it. I turned round again. “I can’t hear a word!” I said angrily .
“It’s none of your business,” the young man said rudely. “This is a private conversation!”

Bear: /verb/ to be able to accept and deal with sth unpleasant; stand:

Example:
- she couldn’t bear the thought of losing him.

- prison life was difficult to bear.

تحمل زندگی در زندان دشوار بود

Private: /adj/ intended for or involving a particular person or group of people, not for people in general or for others to know about:

Example:
a private conversation / letter.

یک صحبت/نامه خصوصی

Conversation: /noun/ (with sb) (about sth) an informal talk involving a small group of people or only two; the activity of talking in this way:

Example:
- Don was deep in conversation with the girl on his right.

- َAn English conversation class.

کلاس مکالمه انگلیسی

Rudely: /adv/ in the way that shows a lack of respect for other people and their feelings:

Example:
“what do you mean?” she asked rudely.

منظورت چیه؟ او با گستاخی و بی شرمی پرسید

[matrix]

A man and woman had marriage problems and decided to end their union after a very short time together. In court, the judge asked the husband, "What has brought you to the point where you cannot keep this marriage together?" The husband replied, "In the six weeks we've been married, we haven't agreed on one thing." His wife interrupted, "Seven weeks!"

:marriage

ازدواج

:Example

- marriage certificate

قباله ازدواج

:marriage problems

مشکلات زناشویی(ازدواج)

:union

وصلت، ازدواج، زناشویی

:court

دادگاه

:Example

- a divorce court

دادگاه طلاق

- the court dismissed the charges

دادگاه اتهامات وارده را رد کرد

- this matter should be left to the courts

این قضیه باید به محاکم قضایی ارجاع شود

:point

جا، نکته

:keep

ادامه دادن

:Example

-
he kept on talking

او به حرف زدن ادامه داد.

[matrix]

A man who was convinced that he was John the Baptist was committed to a mental hospital and assigned to a room with another crazy man. He immediately went into his routine, "I am John the Baptist! And Jesus Christ sent me here!" The other guy looked at him and calmly declared, "I did not."

:convinced

to make someone feel certain that something is true

باور داشت

ٍ:Example

-
I’m convinced that she is telling the truth

John the Baptist

(?12 BC-?28 AD) in the New Testament of the Bible, a religious teacher who told people that Jesus Christ was coming, and who baptized Jesus in the River Jordan.

حضرت یحیی

:committed

to order someone to be put in a hospital or prison

فرستادن، تحویل دادن

- The judge committed him to prison for six months.

قاضی او را برای 6 ماه به زندان فرستاد

- to be committed to a mental hospital.

به بیمارستان روانی فرستاده شدن

:assigned

گذاشتنش

:routine

کار و ادا اطفار همیشگیش

:declared

to say publicly what you think or feel

گفت

- It's not fair,' Jane declared

[matrix]

Last week at a dinner-party, the hostess asked me to sit next to Mrs. Rumbold. Mrs. Rumbold was large, unsmiling lady in a tight black dress. She did not even look up when I took my seat beside her. Her eyes were fixed on her plate and in a short time, she was busy eating. I tried to make a conversation.
‘A new play is coming to “the Globe” soon,’ I said ‘will you be seeing it?’
‘No’ she answered.
‘Will you spend your holiday’s abroad this year?’ I asked.
‘No’ she answered.
In despair, I asked her whether she was enjoying her dinner.
‘Young man,’ she answered ‘if you ate more and talk less, we would both enjoy our dinner!’

Host: a person who invites guests to a meal, a party, etc. or who has people staying at their house:

Hostess:

خانم میزبان

ٍExample:

- Ian, our host, introduced us to the other guests.


Unsmiling: not smiling; looking unfriendly:

Example:

- His eyes were hard and unsmiling

Tight: (clothes) fitting closely to your body and sometimes uncomfortable:

تنگ

Example:

- She was wearing a tight pair of jeans.

Despair: the feeling of having lost all hopes:

ناامیدی

Example:

- He gave up the struggle in despair

[matrix]

The Last One?

After reading an article entitled ‘Cigarette Smoking and Your Health’ I lit a cigarette to calm my nerves. I smoke with concentration and pleasure as I was sure that this would be my last cigarette. For a whole week I did not smoke at all and during this time, my wife suffered terribly. I had all the usual symptoms of someone giving up smoking: a bad temper and an enormous appetite. My friends kept onoffering me cigarettes and cigars.

They made no effort to hide their amusement whenever I produced a packet of sweets from my pocket. After seven days of this I went to a party. Everybody around me was smoking and I felt extremely uncomfortable .when my old friend Brian urged me to accept a cigarette; it was more than I could bear. I took one guiltily, lit it and smoked with satisfaction .my wife was delighted that things had returned to normal once more. Anyway, as Brian pointed out, it is the easier things in the world to give up smoking. He himself has done it lots of times!

Vocabulary

Entitle:
To give sb the right to have or do sth:

مستحق دانستن

Example:
you will be entitled to your pension when you reach 65.

Lit:
Pt, pp of light

Pleasure:
A state of feeling or being happy or satisfied: enjoyment:

خوشی

Example:
- To read for pleasure

Symptom:
A sign that sth exists, especially sth bad:

علائم


Example:
The rise in infection was just one symptom of the poor state of the economy.

Enormous: extremely large; huge; immense:

خیلی بزرگ


Example:
An Enormous House

Appetite: physical desire for food:

اشتها

Example:
- He suffered from headaches, insomnia and loss of headaches

Urge:

To advise or try hard to persuade sb to do sth:

درخواست کردن

Example:
- She urged him to stay.

Satisfaction:
The good feeling that you have when you have achieved sth that you wanted to happen does happen; sth that gives you this feeling:

رضایت

Example:
- To gain /get satisfaction.

Delighted:
very pleased:

خوشایند

Example:
- A delighted smile.

Pointed out:
To stretch your finger out towards sb/sth in order to show sb which person or things you are referring to:

اشاره کردن

Example:
I’ll point him out to you next times he comes in.

Special note
The verb KEEP has a different meaning in each of these sentences. Study them carefully:


Example:
- My friends kept on offering me cigarettes and cigars. (Continued)

- Please keep off the grass. (Do not walk on it.)

- He kept away from the party. (Did not come.)

- Under my essay, the teacher wrote, ‘good work! Keep it up!’(Continue making an effort.)

- He ran so fast, I could not keep up with him. (Remain beside him.)

- A big notice on the door said, ‘keep out!’(Do not come in.)

- The boy was kept in after school. (To stay as a punishment.)

Such verbs are called ‘phrasal verbs’ and are very important in English language. Try to learn them as soon as you can

[matrix]

A: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?

B: Yes, of course.

A: Great! I never could before!

Great:عالی

EXAMPLE:
- It's great to be home.

EXAMPLE:
- a great day out for all the family.

[matrix]

Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.


One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"


Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."

His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."


A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"


With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."


The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"



Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."


single:
not married
مجرد

- Ali is 38 years old and still single.
علی 38 سالش و هنوز مجرد


married:
having a husband or a wife متاهل
- Are you married or single?
شما متاهلید یا مجرد؟


just :
exactly
دقیقا
- The house was large and roomy; just right for us.
خانه بزرگ و جاداری بود، دقیقا مناسب ما


You were right
حق با تو بود